“In the Beginning…”
II. Synchronistic Webs
The New Age Center
“At the End…”
Improving the Nightmare? Waking Up
The Pathless Path
Too Much (Demasiado)
Ode to Beloved Energy
The Rest of My Life
Osho's Teaching Aphorisms
Mixed Bag of Poems
NOTE: During my 2006 Cleansing/Fasting
Retreat in Florida, I read Life After Death: The Burden of Proof,
by Deepak Chopra and shortly thereafter, the following "aphorism"
Avoid addictive ESCAPES2
of drugs, alcohol, smoking, sports, T.V.,
sex, work, reading, thinking, making
money, prestige, power, control, belief
Enter into the body
(The temple of the Spirit)
Pass through the thinking, the emotions, the body sensations.
Discover the nonmaterial INFINITE POTENTIALITIES within3
Focus on where you're STUCK in your body.
Be there and HEAL yourself of injuries,
physical or mental.
Overcoming the "stuckness" (resistance) and
BE FREE, enjoying the silence of your REAL HOME.
What else completely satisfies?5
Home at last!
Incubation as in the Mystical Fellowship:
www.NewAgePointofInfinity.com or printed in Confessions of an
Ex-Jesuit, Vol 2, back cover.
We're talking about ALL addictive
behavior--so compile your own list. In other words, how can you
Life After Death: The Burden of Proof,
by Deepak Chopra, author of over 40 books.
See footnote #1.
Saint Augustine stated: "Our hearts were
made for Thee, and they will not rest until they rest in Thee." Life
After Death offers another interpretation of "Thee."
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Improve the Nightmare? Waking Up
- Some contend that RELATIVE (dependent/derivative) reality
--the gross physical world, the subtle worlds,
including we human beings--is an illusion, a DREAM.
Only ABSOLUTE (substantive) REALITY is real
--the real changeless substance behind everything.
- IF true, then what does "waking up" mean?
We can wake up TO the illusions in the dream of
relative reality, e.g., that we have a democracy,
that the Federal Reserve is part of the government, etc.
That is, we can wake up IN the dream while remaining IN the dream.
Or, we can "wake up" FROM the illusion of the dream itself.1
The latter being much more challenging.
- So. . .(a) we can work TO IMPROVE the dream (nightmare, might
be better), and create a "better" dream/nightmare with
less suffering, more equality, etc.
Or, (b) we can work to help others wake up FROM the dream,
seeing that all is perfect as it is, and
therefore no need to improve the dream
SINCE it is a dream. (Yet with karmic consequences, say some?)
- Maybe not EITHER/OR, but BOTH.
Thus, follow your preference:
concentrate on (a);
concentrate on (b);
balance (a) and (b).
And follow your preference in HOW TO ACT,
without attachment, but with passion.
- See a story--Chapter 28, The True Self--in The Tao
of Daily Life, by Derek Lin.
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After Rereading Spiritual Enlightenment, by Jed
McKenna, and Buddha, by Deepak Chopra, the following thoughts
The Pathless Path
- Starting asleep.
Looking for fulfillment.
It arrives fleetingly.
- Emptiness, How fulfill?
Addictive/distracted escapism behavior
(of any type).
Even religion sucks.
Will it ever end?
- A spiritual path, perhaps?
Which one? The spiritual marketplace (1)
Try one, try many.
Reading, meditating more.
New experiences, even mystical.
Yet, still dissatisfied.
Has anyone noticed that spirituality
is not working?
Not asleep, not fully awake.
What to do?
The FIRST STEP bursts forth:
Disillusioned with EVERYTHING.2
- A solitary soul journey.
Concentration, devotion, and diligent work.
A complete shift in consciousness.
Liberation from the physical world,
ending in seeing through the dream.
How accept that the entire world,
and everyone in it, is an illusion?3
- Chopra: Epilogue.
"The separate self is unreliable and
ultimately unreal. We apply words like
soul and personality to something that
is fleeting and ghostly. Our attempts to make
the self real never end but also never succeed.
Therefore, we cling for reassurance to an ILLUSION."
"What can be seen, heard, or touched is unreal.
Whatever you cling to as permanent is unreal.
Whatever the mind can think of is unreal.
- Finally, "reality reveals itself as the ground
of existence, the source from which everything
is PROJECTED. "From a world of infinite projections
to a single state of Being.
Thus, the root of suffering is ILLUSION.4
- Ready to challenge your belief system?
Confront the fear of no-self? The black
hole at the core of your being?
To wake up, the dream character must be
Truth-realization is everything!
Abiding in non-dual, non-relative awareness.
Let the world take care of itself.
- Not "cogito, ergo sum."
But "non cogito, ergo non-persona."5
Self cannot achieve no-self.
No knowledge, only negation: Unfoldingness.
- Depressed/ despairing/ insignificant/
EVERYTHING is futile.
Relinquish the illusion of control.
A radical deconstruction of your fictional
No fear of death (maybe there's Heaven/reincartion?),
but fear of non-being, oblivion.
- Can't wake up without quitting the dream,
of zombies, half-asleep, sleepwalking,
not really present.
A dream we're unweaving, since we're all pretending.
The trance isn't easily broken!
Everything in duality is false.
Truth is dissolution, is about Unknowing.
No belief is true!
All exterior, no interior; all appearance, no substance.
The dread of nothingness keeps our attention outwardly
- Spiritual paths=the opiate of the New Agers.
The grand disillusionment.
The Pathless Path calls.6
Wake Up! The #1 job.
- Anyone out there who desires to delve
into these books with me?
- Guru Ratings Site: Sarlo's Rating Service.
- The key to enlightenment: the process of spiritual
autolysis, a kind of journaling: Try to write something true and keep at
it until you do.
- Buddha, by Deepak
Art of Non-Doing," pages 273-278.
"I think, therefore I am." Ours is: "I don't think,
therefore I am not a real person", (just consciousness, awareness
utilizing this body-mind mechanism as a fictional character, a mask, an
actor on the world stage, being dreamt by the Dreamer) Also see,
"Science of the Soul? 'I think, Therefore I Am's Losing Force." NYTimes,
June 26, 2007.
- Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment,
by Jed McKenna; Wanting Enlightenment is a Big Mistake: The Teachings
of Zen Master Seung Sahn, ed. by Hyon Gak.
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NOTE: After an unforgettable experience in the Costa
Rican Rainforest, the following poem arose:
Too Much (Demasiado)
thoughts, emotions, sensations.
Deeper breathing (long pause)
All three transcending.
PURE AWARENESS bursts forth.
Such ISNESS this body-form cannot contain.
Surrending, allowing, yearning.
Heart shattering (very long pause)
(Mi corazon esta rompiendose)
Demasiado! Demasiado! Demasiado!1
Basta! Basta! Basta!
(Too much! Too much!! Too much!!
Enough! Enough! Enough!)
Si mas, no puedo vivir
(If any more, I won't be able to live)
Asi es la vida.
(Such is life)
1. While at Sueno Azul I had two or three conversations
with different people about buying property and building something in
Costa Rica. The owner of Sueno Azul overheard some of our talk and offered
to help us with his contacts.
The next morning, right before one of our Mindfulness
classes, he pulled me aside and said he wanted to show me something. He,
his head gardener, and I took off in a jeep for nearby mountaintops.
Traveling through such BEAUTIFUL country sides was a sheer pleasure. (Sueno
Azul is just like the Garden of Eden--exquisitely enchanted with
Arriving at the top of one mountain, he showed me a flat
piece where something could happen, I asked for some time to offer a
prayer to the Four Directions and threw dirt onto the ground. Then I burst
forth in sobbing/crying for quite a while, as the two just waited
Then he took me down a rugged path in the nearby
Rainforest telling me stories about the different plants, trees, etc. We
came to a gigantic tree called, "The Tree of God," and I asked to be able
to place my hands on it. Doing so for quite a while, again, my heart burst
open with more and deeper sobbing/crying.
Then we walked across a large stream on a rickety old
bridge while hearing the wonderful bubbling of the water, and I said: "Escuchen,
la Vox de Dios, (Listen, the Voice of God)," and I asked the head gardener
to offer a prayer. The three of us held hands and the gardener offered up
a heart-felt prayer in Spanish that was absolutely majestic. The gardener
and I embraced and we both sobbed our hearts out!
The owner, then, wanted to show me more BUT I COULDN'T
TAKE ANYMORE. I was TOTALLY FILLED with the spirit of the Rainforest. My
heart could barely function and that's when I shouted out the words in
In silence we went back to the classroom while I was in
a daze. It took many hours for me to return to "normality." WHAT AN
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NOTE: After completing a four-day Nonviolent
Communication Retreat at the Point of Infinity last weekend, the following
Ode to Beloved Divine Energy
- How to integrate NVC (Nonviolent Communication)
with the Gestalt/Zen Perspectives?
I need (want, desire, yearn) to have/live in
DIRECT experience of the Beloved Divine Energy.
- But HOW??
The more I am AWARE of the alive ENERGY in my body1,
The more I am AWARE of my FEELINGS (emotions)2,
The more I am AWARE of my NEEDS3
The more I am AWARE of relevant REQUESTS
to satisfy those needs,
The better I can satisfy my UNMET NEEDS;
The more I can EXPRESS my feelings/needs "NON-VERBALLY"4,
The more a "wholistic/integrated" EXPERIENCE presents itself.
- Yet, if self/other connection is desired:
The more we both are aware of the alive energy in our bodies,
The more we both are aware of the feelings of each other,
The more we both are aware of each other's needs,
The more we both are aware of the relevant requests,
The better we can connect;
The more each of us can express this connection "non-verbally,"
The deeper the alive EXPERIENCE of the connection is relished.5
- It's the DIRECT PERSONAL EXPERIENCE on ALL levels6
that fully satisfies
- The Gestalt perspective adds the body language/body
sensations to the synthesis. One follows the alive energy manifesting
until the related emotion is felt, through various Gestalt techniques.
Observing the tone of voice, facial expressions, sighs, body movements,
etc. FOLLOW THE ENERGY!!
- Rosenberg's The Language of Nonviolent Communication
offers quite a comprehensive list of feelings. And methods to contact
- The same for needs.
- Zen wants us to transcend CONCEPTS and experience
reality DIRECTLY. As Fritz perls said: " Lose your head and come to your
senses." One can trust the body more than the intellect.
Personal Note: While driving home from our retreat I realized that I
wasn't "finished." Upon reflection I hit upon the "unfinished energy." I
wanted to EXPRESS my gratitude/peacefulness/joy in a non-verbal way to
the group. Well--I did it here in private and re-experienced the
feelings to a greater depth. I'd love to share it with you but... it
would be JUST words/concepts, a step removed from a DIRECT EXPERIENCE,
and therefore JUST intellectual.
- For example, a warm heart-to-heart hug, a silent
period holding hands together
- Emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical,
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- The sacred ceremony begins.
Drumming into a light trance.
Meditating more deeply.
The Kabbalistic spiritual tradition explained: the Tree of Life.
Incredible spiritual SUPPORT by ALL guides/group energy.
A pathway to experience and experiment with,
especially the integrating energetic centers.
- Ingesting nature's Sacred Sacraments.1
Allowing being overshadowed by Beloved Divine Energy.
AWARENESS increasing/developing/spreading throughout.
The body/mind form reacts with body sensations
Slowly Awareness of awareness, a pure presence
or pure wakefulness presents Itself.
A meditative consciousness contributes to the deepest self-support.
Emptiness, the Void, Nothingness births forth.
Resistance after resistance struggles yet gradually melts away.
- Now in the King's Chamber of the Pyramid, in the sarcophagus?
My spirit slowly arising out of the body/mind form
taking off to celestial realms, perhaps Orion?
Exploring spatial dimensions with childlike enthusiasm.
Singing my intentions: lower back to be healed and
understanding/wisdom to gain.
Aha--so it IS all an illusion, after all, even though the world's
suffering is real on this level.
Thus, relax and be AWARE without judgment.
- Then, group sharing time.
With my experience being shared, incredible waves of energy traverse
through this body/mind form releasing even more cellular stuckness
thrown around like a rag doll.
The pain difficult to experience yet no suffering!
Falling down to the ground, tremendous
energies released with deep sobs exploding.
- Day Two.
Some integrating with the Tree of Life
while ingesting a different milder Sacrament.
The spontaneous unfolding of mental insights delight the intellect.
Then the BIG JOURNEY! Into intuitionism
guided by a moment-to-moment Awareness
with the assistance of yet another different
- FIVE HOURS experiencing WHATEVER arrives!
Vibrations 0f sounds pour through this body/mind form.
Transcendent /Immanent energies flow, wave after wave,
cleansing this organism frequently colliding in the thunderbolts of
What Power! What Transformation!
This form can barely contain all that happens.
Now, within an inch of my heart, which might
shatter into a billion pieces--GREAT FEAR!!
"let go," "let go," "let go"--continuously repeated
until I hear: " Let go OF KEN."
An AWARENESS of awareness, a pure presence
or pure wakefulness seems to appear.
Am I really objective neutrality at this time?
the Observer observing the observed?
Who knows? Anyway, it's delicious.
- Guided to integrate the left with the right side,
the Goddess1 herself appears.
I embrace her wholeheartedly amidst tears of joy.
The marriage of the Goddess with the masculine God
is celebrated with innumerable body/emotional releases.
And then--SUDDENLY--I feel/hear two clicks in two vertebrae
in my lower back: HEALING ARRIVED!2
- Later, started to feel the horrendous pain/suffering
of three fellow journeyers.
My arm spontaneously reaches out to console them and yet I can't!
To wash away their sufferings is my great desire.
Then much of the world's sufferings seem to invade my body.
It's too much to bare!!!!! and I break down uncontrollably
WILL IT EVER END???????
And yet, a fervent desire arises to stay in this state of consciousness
- Third Day: Sharing, integrating, expressing.
The beauty of each person's experience is truly touching.
Opening even more "things" to work on.3
Hopefully, incorporating spiritual BodyWork
to assist energies locked in the body/mind form.
Free at last! Free at Last!4
And much of all this, expressed in a final energetic dance.
- Special gratitude to the Shaman, to the
Spirit Guides embedded in these natural
- When the Impossible Happens: Adventures in
Non-Ordinary Realities, by Stanislav Grof
- See In the Dark Places of Wisdom, by Peter
Kingsley, (a book about poems of Parmenides, Pythagorean teachings, and
ancient Greek philosophy/mysticism). Also check out
www.NewAgePointofInfinity.com and click onto The Mystical Fellowship
on the left to see one way of "Practicing Presence."
- Give me a week or two to be aware of my lower back
and then I will be able to confirm if healing in fact did occur.
- While sharing, alive emotional energies bubbled up to
the surface in two of the others but were immediately repressed. To
"work" on these with Gestalt was my reaction, asap.
- See my favorite Enlightenment triology:
Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing;
Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment;
all by Jed McKenna.
"We don't want to awaken from the dream; we want to dream that we are
awake." "To surrender is to relinquish the illusion of control." "All
emotions are attachments and the energy of all attachments is FEAR."
"Fear of no-self, of non-being, of nothingness." "Maya's house has many
mansions--they're all just dreamstates within dreamstates."
- The day after: Spiritual Intuitive BodyWork with
Ginny, going into the fear as it arises in the body--facing it head-on,
letting it dissolve, yielding even more "naturalness."
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NOTE: Just finished reading Spiritual Warfare, by Jed
McKenna. Some thoughts follow.
- Most people are unconscious.
They don't see: "Life is but a dream."
Many New Agers and others wake up (become conscious)
TO the dream and yet stay WITHIN the dream,
seeking alternative perspectives.
Seekers seek an end to the discomfort,
not to the delusion.
A personal spiritual REVOLUTION is needed.
Not from one dreamstate to another dreamstate,
but to totally BREAK OUT.
- The "functioning ego" has its place
but the "identifying ego" has to go.
Yet FEAR stops the process.
Fear of no-self, of non-being, of nothingness.
Go into the fear, understand it. (1)
Surrender the illusion of control.
Cleanse the perceptual faculties.
Unlearn, let go, reduce.
Close the gap between the I and Not-I.
- "Judging, categorizing and labelling fades
as otherness gives way to isness.
Thought is dropped/forgotten.
All opinions/beliefs become noxious.
Thus, all that ENERGY is freed up for . . .
Acceptance of what is."
- So . . . What to do?
the illusion of control
Start a FIRE: Declare War
experience the furnace of disillusionment
annihilate the identifying ego
- But, REALLY, who wants to do this?
Who wants the truth-realized state?
Many desire, few realize.
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Note: Reading The Void: Inner Spaciousness and Ego
Structure, by A.H.Almaas, brought forth the following words.
- In prior poems/aphorisms, frequently
the concept of the VOID is seen.
The Gestalt Perspective puts forth the peeling of the
layers of the personality until a stuck point--
the IMPASSE, the DEATH LAYER--is encountered.
Great fear arises: death in the VOID seems immanent.
Better to stay with the familiar known, however
unfulfilling, than to plunge into the unknown--
for it could be worse, even deathful!
Dread, fear and trembling arise. Sweat breaks out.
To plunge or not to plunge? Stuck!!!
- Ever wonder what's ULTIMATELY under/beyond the impasse?
Is it the deficient and depressive VOID: the nothingness,
the emptiness, an impoverished, depleted, painful,
and undesireable state?
OR, is it the spacious and liberating VOID: expansive
Not the fear of the loss of self, of disintegration,
of not knowing who one is, of the body itself (death);
BUT the dissolving of identity itself, both ego-identity
and even essential identity (identification with being).
This dissolvement overcomes the fear of disappearing, of
annihilation, of non-existence,
yielding a SPACIOUSNESS, without limits.
Allowing "the experience of non-existence, of complete
extinction of self, of cessation, of the fear of death
of the body AND the fear that my mind will cease to exist."
Thus, even consciousness is annihilated.(1)
"Although arousing the greatest TERROR, one experiences
the greatest peace, calm, silence--the peace is
complete, total--utter relief."
- You've heard it said: "Go into the VOID,"
where there is nothingness in order to find everything.2
That is, the OPENNESS of EMPTY SPACE,3
where REALITY with no boundaries at all is experienced.
LIBERATION AND ENLIGHTENMENT.
- Rajneesh: "I have recognized the fact THAT I AM NOT."
(A state of no-self without the presence of fear. Non-conceptual
REALITY; BEING WITH NO SELF-IMAGE.)
- Everything (created material forms) comes out of
nothing (pure infinite potentiality).
- The pregnant void, the infinitely creative emptiness
that is the Tao.
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NOTE: After a Christmas celebration, created by my
Goddess Wife, and discussing "issues" with my son Jordan, his insights
inspired the following.
The Rest of My Life
- Remaining IN the dream, what excites?
-Awareness and the Gestalt perspective/dreamwork
-the Gnostic perspective1
-Sitchin's perspective on the Anunnaki2
-the mysteries of ancient civilizations,
Sumerian, Egyptian, Greek, Mayan, etc.3
-more reading, more studying.
-yoga/meditation, daily fast-walking, and fasting.
- But, MORE stimulating yet,
WAKING up FROM the dream,
with the Gnostic perspective,
- So, HOW ACT?, What to do?
-found a Universal Gnostic Fellowship,
including a Gnostic Mystery School,
to study Gnostic literature
-form a Sitchin Studies group
-continue to read, to study.
-more yoga/meditation, daily fast-walking, and fasting.
- Thus, BOTH have FUN IN the dream (relative reality),
AND help self/others wake up FROM the dream
(to Absolute Reality).
The Nag Hammadi Library: The Definitive Translation of the Gnostic
SCRIPTURES, by James Robinson; By Elaine Pagels: The Gnostic Gospels;
Beyond Belief: The Secret Gospel Of Thomas; The Gnositc Paul: Gnostic
Exegesis of the Pauline Letters; The Johannine Gospel in Gnostic
Exegesis; The Origin of Satan; and by Karen King: The Gospel of Mary of Magdala; What is
Gnosticism? and more
The 12th Planet (Foundational)
The Stairway to Heaven
The Wars of Gods and Men (Foundational)
The Lost Realms
When Time Began
The Cosmic Code
as well as:
The Lost Book of Enki
The Earth Chronicles Expeditions
The End of Days
Journeys to the Mythical Past
info on Planet X or Nibiru--AMAZING.
Breaking the Godspell; and God Games, both by Neil Freer, The Holy Grail Collection, all by Laurence Gardner; Genesis of the
Grail Kings; Bloodline of the Holy Grail; Lost Secrets of the Sacred Ark:
Amazing Revelations of the Incredible Powers of Gold; The Magdalene Legacy;
The Grail Enigma. Also, www.graal.co.uk
A Few of the books I've read: The Sign and The Seal; Fingerprints of
the Gods, by Graham Hancock; The Message of the Sphinx, by Hancock and
Robert Bauvel; The Mayan Prophecies, by Adrian Gilbert and Maurice Cotterell;
Cataclysm: Compelling Evidence of a Cosmic Catastrophe in 9500 BC;
Forbidden Archaeology, by Michael Cremo and Richard Thompson;
When the Sky: In Search of Atlantis, by Rand and Rose Flem-Ath;
Catastrophobia, by Barbara Hand Clow, plus many others. The Tutankhamun Prophecies: The Sacred Secret of the Maya,
Egyptians, and Freemasons; The Lost Tomb of Viracocha, by
Cotterell; plus many others.
Incorrect Spiritual Enlightenment; and, Spiritual Warfare,
all by Jed McKenna (my favorite spiritual triology)
|This Is It: The Nature of
Oneness, by Jan Kersschot|
|As It Is: The Open Secret
of Spiritual Awakening, by Tony Parsons |
As the Director of the New Age Center in Nyack and the Point of
Infinity Retreat Center near Ellenville (in the Catskills) I am eager to
start a Sitchin Studies Group in both places. To meet at least once per
month in order to explore in-depth these GREAT books (which changed my
life). If interested, contact Ken 845-358-6448 or
Awakening: Embracing Our Natural State of Presence, by Tony
|Nobody Home: From
Belief to Clarity, by Jan Kersschot |
|Acceptance Of What
Is: A Book About Nothing, by Wayne Liquorman |
|Never Mind: A Journey
into Non-Duality, by Wayne Liquorman |
|Awakening to the
Dream, by L. Hartong |
Cutting Through The Conditioned Mind, by Stephen and Farcet
|To Be and Not To Be,
by Douglas Harding |
|On Having No Head:
Zen and The Rediscovery of the Obvious, by Douglas Harding
|I Am THAT: Talks with
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, ed. by Sudhakar Dikshit |
Nisargadatta Maharaj: Consciousness and the Absolute, by
Ramesh Balsekar |
|The Doctrine of
Vibration: The Doctrine and Practices Associated with Kasmir
by Mark Dyczkowski |
|Silence of the Heart,
Vol 1 and 2, by Robert Adams |
The Human Buddha: Enlightenment for the New Millennium,|
by Aziz Kristof
Thursday, January 10th
AWARENESS TRAINING with Ken Pollinger, Ph.D.
$10/night or $30 for 4 classes (in Nirvana Bookstore), 7:30-9 pm.
-Would you like to increase your awareness?
-Do you desire to be more present-oriented?
-Does "working" on your dreams appeal to you?
-Would you like to be less judgmental?
-Willing to learn what your projections tell you about yourself?
-Are you interested in personal development?
After much reflection, I've realized that what really turns me on the
most is "exploring" the alive energetic movements of what arises in the
The Gestalt Perspective has enriched my life immeasureably and given me
the tools needed for such enrichment. I'd like to share this perspective
and its application with you.
So . . . some teachings, some experiments, some reading, some
discussion, some experiences, etc.
Please let me know of you're coming: 845-358-6448. For our first class,
please read: AWARENESS, by Anthony DeMello (some copies available in
Nirvana Bookstore: Thu-Sat: 12-6 pm.)
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