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  I. "In the Beginning..."  

Contents:

i. Introduction

I. “In the Beginning…”
    Spiritual Evolution
    Seminary and Afterwards
    Why I Left
    Will of God
    Special Thanks
    Consciousness in the Form of Ken Pollinger
    Our Father: Ineffable Original Intelligence
    THAT

II. Synchronistic Webs

III. Daily Encounters

IV. Infinity’s Point

V. BodyTemple

VI. Observations

VII. Enlightenment

VIII. Alternatives

IX. The New Age Center

X. “At the End…”

Vol. 2

XI. Enlightenment Poems

XII. Worldly Concerns

Spiritual Evolution

  1. First, there was play.
    Then great sex.
    Sex became good and less,
    Midlife, money raised its ugly head.
    Now, only Enlightenment appeals.

  2. Youthful emotions delighted,
    Mature thoughts fascinated,
    The body weakened.
    Now, no-thought witnesses emotion.
    The Unmanifest reigns.

  3. Philosophies speculated,
    Theologies yielded faith,
    Science established factual "reality."
    Transcending these three,
    Enlightenment is the Now.
    No speculation, no faith, no facts -
        only Truth.

  4. Many were the things that would fulfill.
    Yet all brought disillusionment.
    Now-only The One Reality does it.
    How about you?

  5. As a young innocent, I loved Life.
    As an adolescent I loved girls.
    Entering the seminary, I loved God.
    In marriage, I loved wife and children.
    Living presently in the Now, the One Lover loves
        all of these through me
    So, what happened to the "I"?

  6. Unconscious existence: wine, women, sports,
    Subsequent evaluation with
        Judeo-Christian God substitution.
    Yielding to Yoga, Zen and mystical paths.
    Terminating in Conscious awareness
       
    with degrees thereof.
    To what end? Awakening Being-Consciousness
        in self and others.


  7. The power of Eternal Now.
    Peels off the onion-like egoic layers.
    To reveal the Pearl
        of the Heart of Awareness.

  8. Finally, Freedom is possible!

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The Seminary and Afterwards
  1. Before the seminary, I lived it up:  Little character.
    
  2. During the seminary, my self was re-characterized.
    I loved the Christ.
    In Peru, questions arose
    Theology in Mexico provided more.
    A Dark Night of the Soul yielded Jesuitical departure.
    Little fulfilled.
    
  3. Sociology/social revolution my passion became
    In Teaching "Publish or Perish" did me in again
    Marriage and children filled a void--for awhile.
    
  4. Then, I loved Buddha.
    Like Christ, he, too, had to die.
    What next?
    
  5. Workshops, reading and experiences
       showed the way.
    Through Gestalt I learned to play.
    Not. "Cogito, ergo sum,"
        but, "I Feel, therefore I am."
    
  6. Four books read together
    (McKenna. Nadeen, and Tolle)
    Finally created the synthesis.
    Understanding is all!
    Now to practice Presence.
    
  7. Be here now!
Footnotes:
  1. Ken entered the Jesuit Seminary in Cincinnati, Ohio, in 1956 & left in 1969.

  2. Two years teaching in Arequipa, Peru.

  3. The Dark night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross, or as Christ said, “Father, why hast thou forsaken me” — abandonment, despair, depression, etc. McKenna’s first step: total disillusionment with everything.

  4. After receiving the Doctorate from Fordham University, Ken was a college professor in a few universities. Even though hired to teach, one must publish in order to advance in his/her career.

  5. The Catholic Establishment’s version of Christ was deconstructed and like Buddha was only a pointer, “If you meet Buddha on the road, kill him.”

  6. The famous dictum by Descartes: “I think, therefore I am” probably led us in wrong direction of extreme intellectuality. Spinoza’s thesis is presently coming to the fore.

  7. See note of Special Thanks on the inside cover.

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NOTE: While taking my daily walk on the Hudson Rivertrail in Nyack, an Edgar Casey-like enlightened friend, Jack Rosen, appeared and said he read my "poems" straight through - "yet you didn't say why you left" The following verses arose very quickly.

Why I Left

  1. To leave the Jesuits, very difficult.
    My vocation, to deny?
    Two years to decide.
    Another Dark Night of the Soul
    To hell condemned?
    Dantés Inferno to taste?

  2. In Peru, as missionary.
    Social injustice the Church supporting!
    Vatican II, doors opening wide.
    Yet in Spanish Peru, doors still shut.
    Doctrines to preach, untenable to hold.
    Philosophical/theological confusion abounds.

  3. Unnatural Celibacy problems creating1.
    Raping nuns in my dream-time2.
    Surely sex cannot be sinful!
    Women suppressed: obedient to their husbands
        as the Church is obedient to Christ.
    Vow of poverty, yet live sumptuous lives
    Best of food/alcohol substitutes for sex.
    Many fellow priests drinking problems had.
    Homosexual-type temptations not unusual.

  4. But obedience is the key!
    The Will of God through superiors made known.
    A fourth solemn Vow of Obedience to the Pope,
        the final straw became.
    Breaking the trance-like Church
        authoritarian paradigm.
    Infallible dogmas - yet theological debates
        about almost everything: conservatives
        versus liberals, with some between.
    Ultimately, faith is demanded, or ...?

  5. Slow progression from outside authority
        to gradual inward questioning.
    Till the outside collapses, and what remains?
    The Kingdom of God/Goddess is within.3

Footnotes:

  1. Early balding accelerates without sexual activity!
  2. After leaving and being married with two children, I still dreamt that I was in the Jesuits for about 18 years. Only a hands-on-healing by Father Bruni stopped those "nightmares."
  3. Not the traditional God of the Hebrews (Yahweh), the Christians (God, the Father plus God, the Holy Spirit, plus God, the Son: Jesus Christ) and the Muslims (Allah), but rather the God beyond God: Pure Consciousness, with its masculine and feminine principles.

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The Will of God

  1. Before the Jesuits, the will of God, no thought.
    As a Jesuit, the will of God through obedience,
        superiors, manifest became.
    Through the Catholic Church, ultimately, of course.
     

  2. As an ex-Jesuit, the will of God how know?
    Prayer: "Show me Your will." "Help"
    Then came Conversations with God1
    "Your will is my will, says God!"
    How simple!
     

  3. But how can this insignificant finite being
        its will that of God, be?
    To fathom difficult!
    Answer: Go deep inside, through meditation
        to the innermost core and listen:
        to Presence, Silence, Stillness2
    The will of God (a.k.a.: Consciousness, Ineffable
        Original Intelligence3) will emerge
    For the Kingdom of the Goddess is within.
     

  4. Just think: the All Powerful, to accomplish
        my will offers all, neutrally
        watching what happens.
    Truly, can it be? My will is the will of God?
    Such freedom no one has ever seen.

Footnotes:

  1. Conversations with God, Book I, by Neale Donald Walsch. See Books II and II also.
  2. Stillness Speaks, by Eckhart Tolle
  3. See my poem "Our Father: Ineffable Original Intelligence"

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Special Thanks

  1. To You, oh Ground of Being,
    Groundless Ground
    Infinite Wisdom/Intelligence,
    Pure Consciousness,
    The Formless Void,
    Nothingness Supreme.
    All gratitude belongs.

  2. To Thou, Original Energy,
    Perfect Silence,
    Unlimited Awareness,
    Presence,
    Blessed are Your names.

  3. To the Unconditioned,
    Fertile Void,
    Original Mind/No-Mind,
    Primordial/Naked Awareness,
    Pure Openness,
    Unfathomable/Inscrutable Vastness,
    Thatness, Suchness,
    How deep Thou art!

  4. To the God of all religions,
    Great Spirit,
    Grandfather/Grandmother.
    May every Direction offer thankfulness.

  5. To You, Love and Compassion,
    Heart of hearts,
    Sacred Nothingness.
    THAT,
    I AM,
    How appreciated art Thou!

  6. To the Nameless, Whose Essence is Existence,
    Oneness, Divine Light.
    My Friend. My Father/Mother.
    Breath Eternal.
    Breathe through me and all beings.
    Manifest Your Will within my freedom.
    Such is my gratitude.

  7. Thy Essence is my essence.
    Even though "delusive appearance" conceals it.

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"Consciousness" in the Form of Ken Pollinger
  1. Sleep till wake up - delicious!
    The New York Times, a great breakfast.
    Frequent meditation relaxes and deepens
    Small chores pull me outside.
    
  2. Some days I walk to the bank
    Depositing various rental/retirement checks.
    Hard work - not even breaking a sweat
    A weekly bodywork session helps!
    
  3. At times, audio car trips to the Point of Infinity,
    Creative carpentry and minor tasks
         provide fun challenges
    Stretching out on the chaise lounge in sun restores
    Relishing the majesty of trees,
         and the silence within and without.
    
  4. The computer calls periodically.
    Visiting Nirvana (Bookstore) to review events
    Creating new programs for the New Age Center.
    And reading, reading, reading.
    How I love to read!
    Yet no-mind is more important,
    Understanding is all.
    
  5. Many small happenings to describe
    But it's the larger picture that counts
    Not the phenomenal, but the Essential world
       is where the action is.
    The action of surrender and acceptance to what is, as is.
    Living in the Now!

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The Traditional Our Father

Our Father
Who art in Heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name
Thy Kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass
    against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil

 

Ken's Our Father: Ineffable Original Intelligence

Ineffable Original Intelligence
Who exists inside and outside the Void
Nameless One, Blessed Thou art
Gratitude for the Grace that allows us to
    experience Thy Presence
We joyfully accept Thy intentions for
    all sentient beings
On every dimension in all spaces and
    beyond
May we constantly open to Thy unifying
    impulses
Help us to transcend our fabricated self-
    concepts and our individuated
    separateness
Just as we offer unconditional presence
    to others in like manner
Send us the courage to face our blessed
    stuckness
And thanks, always, for Thy desire
    to bring us back into Thy Space
    Consciousness.

 

OUR FATHER: ALAHA, Absolute Beingness

Alaha, Absolute Beingness and Infinite Selfhood
   along with The Logos and The Holy Spirit
Who lives inside our Divine Spirit-Soul-Ego-Self
   and everywhere in all the noetical, noetic, psychical
   and gross material places of existence.
Blessed be Thy Beingness, unmanifest and manifest.
May we awaken to our own Divine nature,
   and assist this awakening in those in ignorance,
   on every dimension in all space-time and beyond.
May we continually use the Mind Supersubstance
   to create human-in-nature angelic elementals
   and dissolve every negative elemental.
Assist us in transmuting our present personalities into our
   permanent personalities so that we may be of service and healing.
May we practice our daily exercises thereby mastering
   our Mind-Light Vitality, while fulfilling our Seven Promises.
Gratitude to Thee, always, for leading us back to our Divine nature,
   and for humanizing the God-man Joshua Immanuel
   as the Way, the Truth and the Light, along with all the
Archangels of the elements.
Holy, Holy, Holy, our Life, our Love.

For information on Daskalos: www.daskalos.org

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NOTE: I recently had an experience of misunderstanding that really shook up my "foundation".

THAT

  1. Over time my groundedness deoended upon
        mother, Jesuits, female relationships, wives,
        children, friends, work, studies, jogging
    Now walking, bodywork and nature helps

  2. Periodic feelings of ungroundedness
    How will I survive?
    Fear, abandonment, despair, confusion, anxiety arise --
        not for long, thankfully
    Consciously secure and stable
    But unconsciously? How deep must one go?

  3. Practicing the Presence
    Allows deep-seated unconscious arisings
    Offering intellectual/emotional insight into Beingness
    Entering the Void with fear and trembling
    Yet delighted with fulfillment, not emptiness

  4. The invisible, indestructible, essential core
        joyously comes forward, however tentatively
    Yielding a grounded Knowingness
        that dispels The Cloud of Unknowing
    Leaving a felt-awareness of Oneness
    Experiencing my existence/essence
        prior to mind/ego identification1,
        prior to this form before you.
    If only it would last!

  5. Stilling the mind
    Allows Being to be felt
    Pointing the way to experience THAT --
        which is beyond all mental images2

  6. In my existence/essence, I AM THAT.

Footnotes:
1. See chapter 3, "Ego, Strength and Egolessness," in Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation, by John Welwood
2. Beyond the concepts/images of "God" and even of the more neutral "Being".

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